Bits of Humor  

(Aries_ram77@yahoo.com )

SMART ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked a passenger, "What are my choices?" the passenger asked. "Yes or no," she replied.  SMART ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat. She said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."    SMART ASS ANSWER #4 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."    SMART ASS ANSWER #3 The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."  When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.    SMART ASS ANSWER #2  A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."    SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006 A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised hi s hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

A Redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a
mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were
strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost
everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?" The father (never having seen an
elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like
that in my whole life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old
lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a
button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them in to a small
room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular number above the walls light up sequentially.

They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the
numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up
again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his
son, "Boy................ ..go git cha Momma

---

Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash her crack and re sell it...

---